8/05/10 BEEP NATION

THE CULPRIT
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Thursday, 7:30 AM. Wind WNW, brisk with stronger gusts. The sky is hazy and the barometer predicts rain, but the day is a pleasant relief from the unusual heat of the past few days.
The other night I was awoken by a faint, periodic beep. I lay there staring at the ceiling, trying to analyze the source. Microwave? No. Toaster? No Stove? No. Coffee maker? No. Key’s left in a vehicle? No. Truck backing up somewhere? Unlikely. The refrigerator does not beep that I know of. What WAS that annoying sound? Thankfully, upon close inspection it was not the dreaded smoke alarm, which when the batteries are low emits a constant, shrill beeping until the battery is replaced, even if the battery is removed, the alarm dismantled and put outside on the back porch and the door closed. What WAS it? After considerable triangulation and with Joan’s (now also wide awake) help it was found to be a small room thermometer which has sat unobtrusively and quietly on the dresser for some years, but was now emitting some kind of faint terminal distress signal, like a foundering ship at sea. I removed the batteries to ease its pain, and it fell silent, mercifully, at one o’clock in the morning.
What is it with all these beeping devices, all emitting the same tone, same pitch, same periodicity, until it all becomes a meaningless annoyance? Shut up and let me sleep!