THE CASE FOR A NATIONAL NANNY

Thursday, 8;00 AM.  24 degrees F, wind NNE, calm at present up here on the bluff.  The barometer is steady at 30.20 in. and the humidity is 82%.  The sky is completely overcast and cloudy, and it is another dark, quiet morning.
    We got quite a bit of snow late yesterday afternoon and last night, a total of perhaps four or five inches of light, fluffy stuff. I had an easy task shoveling this morning, since Coast Guard neighbor Sam blew the worst of it out of the driveway at supper time last night.
    I hear that legislation has been introduced in Congress to establish a position of National Nurse.  I guess it isn’t fair to have a Surgeon General without a corresponding helpmate position.  One can’t say these days that there should be corresponding female and  male positions, since we have had at least one woman Surgeon General. 
    Anyway, rather than get into that fight, I would like to propose another, I think more important new position, and one that might more appropriately be filled by a woman than a man, although I won’t press that gender issue either, as I suppose it could just as well be filled by a qualified and very nurturing male individual. 
    The position I propose is that of National Nanny, which is what the Obama Nanny State desperately needs.  Some wise and caring person to advise us mostly clueless Americans on how to take advantage of all the new cradle–to-grave social programs that are now available to us, like Obamacare,  Obamaphones, food stamps, subsidized housing and heating and subsidized almost everything else.  And oh, yes, how to negotiate not only the mind numbing maze of Obamacare but also thousands of other new regulations on everything from breathing to eating to…well, you get the point.
    A National Nanny would be particularly helpful in explaining to a Second Grade boy why he was “dispended” for tossing an imaginary hand grenade at an imaginary enemy while uttering the forbidden sound “Phsss…!”Or to explain to children in Vermont that they can’t point their fingers at each other in play. Or explaining to a five year old little girl why she was arrested for imitating the sexually suggestive behavior she routinely sees on TV. 
The National Nanny will also be able to explain, a few years in the future, why many of today’s overly regimented and ridiculously suppressed children have turned into anarchists and sociopaths who hate all authority and do not know right from wrong.
    Yes, I sincerely believe we need a National Nanny, and it should be a cabinet position.  Perhaps even  the Nanny State President’s Chief of Staff, keeping all the overly imaginative children in the White House in line.